Lacquered Nails

Last of the nail polish,

end of summer, beginning of fall.

Signs of life

sign of time 

lacquer on the nails.

A measure. A measure of passing time.

The body reveals its pace;

the colour marks its movement

A Measure.

My baby dropped into the water

The length of summer unmeasured

The length of yearning unending

The blow of loss

The body retracts – moving on – passing

unmeasured.

I apprehend the fragility

I perceive the animal that I am

I, 

I grieve the primordial cries of a womans’ loss

I sink into the soil

May that I grow again,

May that I nurture, love and empower,

May that I measure the unmeasurable

Whilst I Mopped

Whilst I mopped, you swore
Whilst I mopped, you wrote
Whilst I mopped, you slept

Whilst I mopped, I saw your kindness fade
Whilst I mopped, I laughed at my mistake
Whilst I mopped, my body woke

Whilst I mopped, I got stronger
Whilst I mopped, you ignored my power
Whilst I mopped, my marriage changed.

Bougainvillea

We wore clusters from her Bougainvillea as we walked down the aisle, right behind her
Clutching a single white rose, propping us up; holding our grief

I pray she is well and unscared
I pray she welcomes her new chapter
I pray for her serenity

My nanna is gone but my body, created from hers, lives on
No more will she sigh at my ways
No more will she tell me off
No more will we laugh together trying to get her to say I’m her favourite!

She cradled me long before my arrival
Now I cradle her great granddaughter
My daughter
My own favourite
Such is life

I pray she is well and unscared
I pray she will  move swiftly on her journey

It is I who carry you now

Stolen

You hijacked my day today,
You stole my mind,
my thoughts,
my to do lists,
my duties.

You entered my dreams last night.

We spoke with a friendship full of love and a universe of magic between us.
It was good to see you in your tangible world with your new lover and son,
acknowledged as a past love, accepted.

Re-united for a moment.
It was good to see you.

You stole my dream and my day
You steal my letters and my messages
I wake from a stolen dream — a stolen universe,
No witnesses to my crimes, and no body whom to deliver them to.

I can hear it…
Your heart speaks volumes but is lost in a universe far away from your present bones.
Caged instead by loneliness.
Paralysed by its emptiness.
Your bones do not protect your heart.
Your bones do not direct your hearts dreams.

Yet it has stolen mine?

I happily give them all to you.
My heart directs my dreams
My heart speaks and acts amid kindness, love and warmth,
My heart shares its love with the greatest of joys.
My heart sings universes that complement my love.

For this happiness,
Today, I allow you to steal my sadness away,
So I may continue to keep an open heart and free my soul.

I send a warm hug,
May this warm kiss rest on your cheek,
May we be free one day.

Sincerely,

Jo

Good bye day
Good bye dreams

Driving.

My favorite part about driving is when an ambulance sounds their alarm. Then. For that one stranger in the ambulance, we all make way and send them off speedily, hoping for that which we don't want to know. But. For that one stranger we worked together in our little metal cars, protected from each other and vulnerable to each other.

Today I grieved you
Tomorrow I might leave you

M

I’m evolving, I feel I am moving into my next phase, my adult phase.
Have I evolved or have I lost my sense of childlike curiosity and awe?
I’ve disengaged
I lower my gaze
How can I unwrap this?
He is not mine to fix

Navel

Just below the navel - to the left

That's where I found her

sitting there fearful I might harm her

Like an abusive mother that shows that sliver of love you always wait for

She follows

unsure

Unsure if I will empower or demean her

Can I?

May I?

Can U?

Reduced

Reduced. I feel reduced